Hello and thank you so much for this wonderful blo...

2007-08-08T17:17:00.000-07:00

Hello and thank you so much for this wonderful blog and Shawnda's comment.

My husband and I are a bi-ethnic family (incidentally, race has no foundation in genetics but is a tool for oppression),and are adopting from Ethiopia. We have Ethiopian friends we hope to visit when we travel to bring our child home.

The age we are living in allows us to have the Shawndas and the author of "Black Children, White Parents" and all the spectrum of "opinions" speak freely. We are living in an age where it is the journey into the community that is the real test of our spirit just as we are pushed harder to stay in our little bubble (computor, cell phone, gameboy, blackberry etc.).

I know how hard it was for me to travel to my husband's country. I knew that I had lost all my rights as an american woman once I touched his homeland's soil. Over time I realized how important that feeling of being marginalized was. It is the feeling that many if not all people of African descent feel in this country.

Let us try to put ourselves in the other shoes and teach while we learn. Let us be free to make mistakes and forgive the trespasses along the way.

We are being asked to take this journey and the children of today are very capable- we need to provide them opportunities to show the world their strength, wisdom and light.

This is the first of anything I've read from you. ...

2007-08-02T11:22:00.000-07:00

This is the first of anything I've read from you. Thanks for writing on the topic and sharing honestly and openly your thoughts and concerns. We are a white couple who adopted transracially. We were at a church for 3 yrs that was (and is) working hard for racial reconciliation. We were there in the middle of some pretty intense times, and the Lord used that GREATLY in our hearts. We have seen things in our hearts that we didn't even know were "racist", and have been shown that they are!! It's really sad to us. We know we have a VERY limited mindset because of "white privilege". We strive to understand, but we know we never fully will.

I agree with many of the concerns you have. They are legit and good to be voiced!!!

I think that In Their Own Voices (which we read before we adopted) is a GREAT book that DOES address some of the effects of white families adopting black children. The stories shared are interviews with transracially adopted children. It was really helpful for my husband and I because we went into adoption with the intention of adopting transracially. We have a burden to adopt transracially because of the need!!

Something you said about making black friends being somewhat artificial was sad. That pretty much leaves no hope for reconciliation when you put it that way. The motives are for good, and deep relationships can be born from this intentionality!!

We were friends with a biracial couple (husband is black, wife is white) before we adopted our children. They are officially "aunt" and "uncle" to our children because they are very close friends of ours. And there is NOTHING artificial about our friendship! We know that this relationships serves us and our children (b/c of who they are inside first and foremost), and because of who they are racially as well. We are very thankful for their relationship.

However, we are more intentional about seeking out friendships with more black families now than we ever would have been before we adopted our children (sadly). And this....is a GOOD thing....in our perspective because it challenges us and others toward racial reconciliation!!

Another thing I wanted to address from your article is the issue of color not being significant. This is a growing trend, and I completely disagree. I think the color of our skin is a PART of who we are, and it's absolutely worshipful (we believe we were all created by God, and created to bring Him glory). Our skin color signifies SO much of who we are. Part of who we are IS because of our skin color (which comes out in your article, but then you want to deny that skin color matters). Our children are aware of skin color, and we encourage them to praise our God because of the differences and beauty of all skin colors. Our 3 yr old son says that he is brown, his sister is black, mommy is pink, daddy is white, and his other sister is yellow. He has different colors for everybody - it's not all black and white to him. And we believe it's absolutely wonderful because it's acknowledging a beautiful difference in all of us - giving God the glory for His amazing creation in all of being uniquely and wonderfully different! I've written some things about it on my blog.

There is a LOT for us to learn. I'm not saying I know "better" than you, by ANY means. I'm just saying, as for as color goes, we have a perspective that is far different and, in our opinion, far sweeter and more realistic. Because if were going to be honest, who doesn't see color? We all do....that's not the question! The question is how do we respond to color?!

Comments on swerl: Black Children, White Parents

Hello and thank you so much for this wonderful blo...

This is the first of anything I've read from you. ...